Jen’s Boudoir Experience – Northern Virginia Boudoir Photographer

Jenn Shares the Story of her Boudoir Photo Shoot

When I asked Jenn to write about her boudoir shoot experience with me, she quickly responded with a “YES!!” After reading what she wrote, I was in tears. Jenn’s transformation has been amazing and here is her story, written by Jenn herself.

Isn’t She Lovely…

I actually really dislike what I look like in pictures. I typically don’t even change my profile picture on Facebook as frequently as my friends do. It features me and my husband, I was skinnier then and I even happened to be wearing makeup so why disrupt a good thing?

Signing up for a boudoir shoot was a completely impulsive decision. Whenever I’m afraid of doing something, I just jump in feet first. And… It was gonna make a great first wedding anniversary gift!  Right after our phone consultation, I immediately thought to myself – Girl, are you crazy?!

-I wasn’t a sexy person

-I can’t be serious to save my life

-I knew nothing about what would look sexy on me

-I don’t know how to pose or look sexy in front of a camera

-I don’t own much lingerie and I typically pictured it only for the Victoria’s Secret Models

I reached out to my closest friends for support and they got so excited and told me how much fun I was going to have because a couple of them had already had shoots with Beth. But still doubt and anxiety echoed back at me. Can I really do this? What if you can see my stretch marks? What if I get a zit?!

 

 

Then I took a deep breath and figured – why not? Why can’t I be sexy? Why can’t I look like the models? My friends are stunning, but I couldn’t convince them otherwise. Is that what I was doing to myself without even realizing? Was I looking down on myself instead of loving myself? If I could build my friends up, shouldn’t I be loving myself in the same way? The world makes it so easy for us, as woman, to focus on our imperfections and everything we deem as flaws. All day every day through social media, tv, billboards we are presented with the “perfect woman”.

I wasn’t ever going to be that girl. But I sure as hell could try!

I prepared for my shoot as much as I could by checking off the things on my list and utilizing the prep guides Beth sent over to me. Nails and toes done? – check! Wax?…painful as hell – but check!

Then it was here – BOUDOIR SHOOT DAY! I shuffled into the studio sweatpants and oversized shirt and was immediately greeted by 2 friendly faces. Beth and the make-up artist Jeet.

I tried to put on a brave face as Beth laid out the outfits from her amazing client closet! I’m so out of my element I thought. I am not sexy. What if my husband doesn’t like the pictures after all? Before I knew it, it was time for hair and makeup.

“What look are we going for today?” the makeup artist asked me.

“Well I don’t typically wear makeup…and I never do my hair soooooo”…my mind drifted off thinking about would she be able to hide my dark circles.

“Do you like curls?”

I smiled. I love my hair curled! Sometimes my hair doesn’t like curls, but I was excited! I started to get more comfortable. While I was getting my hair and makeup done Beth and Jeet were chatting with me about life, work, photography. I made a joke about being half naked in front of a stranger and they laughed! Maybe I can do this! Especially when I looked at myself in the mirror once I was done in the chair. I could not stop staring. I genuinely didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror looking back at me. It was the same face but without all the imperfections that I usually see. Why am I so obsessed with focusing on the negative all the time I thought to myself… look at me!

It’s really all about jumping off that cliff even — if you don’t have a fear of heights. The cliff where all your insecurities hang out and whisper those non truths into your soul. The cliff where you’ve never felt good enough. The cliff where we judge other women for what look like. The cliffs edge that is too safe to leave most days.

But I was determined for today to be the day where I jump off this cliff of imperfection And stop being my own worst critic. Today is the day I’m going to see the beauty in myself! This awkward non-confident tomboy is going to come out of her shell today!

“Okkkkk….look at you! You are a model!” Beth rushed over to show me a picture on the back of the camera. And I started to believe it!

Even if I had to play “Run the World (girls) by Beyoncé in my head to hype me up at the beginning, I was having the time of my life now. It didn’t matter when she told me to relax the wrinkles on my forehead or when she had to fix my wedgie or even when I had to get into what felt like the awkward position to get the perfect shot. I finally let go…I felt free.

I had so much fun that day and was bummed to take my makeup off before going home so I would not ruin the surprise gift for my husband. But I could never have imagined what the final product would be. I know I felt sexy, I felt confident and I felt beautiful, but would all of that come through in the pictures? When it was time for my reveal, Beth showed me picture after picture and it was a girl I hardly recognized. “Is that me”? “That’s not me”! I was floored.

“Yes that is you!!” she kept saying. I didn’t focus on the flaws and imperfections that usually popped into my head. It was so liberating and for the first time in my life I genuinely didn’t feel weighed down by those thoughts. Maybe it took Beth’s perspective for me to see myself in a true light. The stunning woman in those pictures was me — looking completely and utterly flawless.

Flawless. Me. Used in the same sentence!! I get emotional just thinking about this. I had never felt that way before. It felt like I was on top of the world!! Is this how my husband sees me? Is this what it feels like to truly love yourself?

I knew if I felt this way about myself, there was no way on earth he wouldn’t be surprised. I decided to get a beautiful photo album for anniversary. 30 glorious and pages from the shoot. I flip through it every chance that I get and honestly, I think I look at the album more than he does. It is my daily reminder that myself image has completely changed after having a boudoir shoot. A new level of confidence and acceptance became a part of my everyday life… all thanks to Beth’s talent of finding the beauty in everyone.

I feel confident and empowered. And I now realize in giving this gift to my hubby that I unintentionally had given myself the best gift of all.

Jen.

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